


I Need You Here

by twenty_one_plants



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Acceptance, Based on the song Dagger Dagger: Terror Terror by Farewell Continental, Blood, Blurryface's voice is in bold, Cutting, Dagger Dagger: Terror Terror, Farewell Continental, Fluffy Ending, Gender Confusion, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid!Tyler, Hallucinations, Other, Pronouns, Schizophrenia, Self-Acceptance, Self-Harm, Songfic, Supportive Josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4532634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twenty_one_plants/pseuds/twenty_one_plants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Yeah, Tyler. Galaxies are genderless, or could be any gender, and they’re beautiful. And sometimes, you’re genderless or anything you feel like being. No matter what, though, you’re still beautiful. No matter what gender you are. You’re still my little galaxy.”</p><p> </p><p>(Based on the song Dagger, Dagger: Terror, Terror by Farewell Continental)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You Here

**Author's Note:**

> There's important notes at the ending of this. Please read them if you decide to read this entire fic.

********

_**"Decadence, love, and injury,"**_ The smile grins.

 

 

 _ **"Caring, and contempt."**_ The lace presses flat against his chest, it feels _right._

 

 

 _ **"Torn apart, bleeding."**_ The definite male looks in the mirror, weakly eyeing the lace against his chest.

 

 

 _ **"'Something happened,' she said as she walked away."**_ But was this boy actually a boy? Or something _entirely_ different?

 

 

 ** _"But no one was there to see it."_** The darker grin smiles behind his own face, that tight feeling filling the chest of Tyler.

 

 

_**"But I never knew what she meant."** _

 

 

Tyler didn't feel like a he. Tyler feels like a she for now. It might change tonight. _Or_ tomorrow. _Or_ in five minutes.

 

 

_**"'Til now."** _

 

 

The second face grins, engulfing Tyler's chest in shadows, Tyler's hips and throat. Tyler shuts her eyes.

 

She cries.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Do you remember me?_

 

 

"Hey baby boy, what's in the bag? Why did you go to Victoria's Secret? Getting some lotion?" Josh chuckles, adjusting on the couch of their apartment.

 

 

_I am an injured soul_

 

 

Tyler flinches, thinking he had made it through the house without being caught. Wait, was it she today? _Yeah._ It was _she._

 _She_ had thought she made it through the house without being caught.

 

 

_I measure anchors deep_

 

 

Tyler also flinches at the name. Baby boy. But... But Tyler is a _girl_ right _now._

 

 

_I have no self-control_

 

 

Josh frowns, "Tyler? You okay? I'm sorry..." Tyler fakes a smile, shrugging before making her way back into their bedroom.

She walks into the bathroom, shutting the door but not _locking_ it.

 

 

_I section pieces off_

 

 

A part of her _wanted_ Josh to find her.

She brought a box with her as she made her way into the bathroom, a locked one to which only she had the key to. Around her neck. She unlocks it.

 

 

_Of your most precious skin_

 

 

The shadow inside laughs, knowing what Tyler was bound to do. Names aren’t gendered, why should she bother?

 

 

_And bury deep within_

 

 

Unlocking the box, she fumbles and drops it onto the counter. Multiple little stained razors fall from the box, clattering into the sink and counter.

She bites her lip, glancing over the razors, glancing over her flat chest; masculine. _Too_ masculine. For a moment, she doesn't want to.

But a voice cuts through.

 

 

 _ **"I didn't say you could let go."** _ Blurryface chuckles, watching the confused human before him.

Blurry made it clear that he identified as a he, something Tyler respected. It feels like Tyler's a boy now. Boy? _He._ Tyler smile weakly at this.

 

 

_Terror, terror on the wall_

 

 

Blurryface didn’t respect Tyler. But it just seemed better to respect a homicidal voice inside of you.

 

 

_The mirror says to end it all_

 

 

Tyler’s nice.

 

 

_Dagger, dagger in my hand_

 

 

Tyler feels male. Tyler feels female. Tyler feels like nothing.

Tyler feels trapped, as he obeys Blurry, lifting a razor to glide along their arm, they pronouns felt right, it really did— _or did it?_

 

 

_I'm hesitant to heed command_

 

 

It’s _really_ hard to decide when you feel the sting of a razor, furthering the struggle of gender within you, indecisive, pain, feeling _abnormal, torn apart, dysphoria,_ the _eyes_ peering and _laughter_ reaching your ears as someone purposely misgenders you, tells you that you’re sick for doing one thing or another.

 

 

_I wish I may_

 

 

Tyler, regardless of what gender they felt like right now, decides enough is enough.

 

 

_I wish I might_

 

 

This was silly.

**“No it isn’t, _stop_ that.”**

Yes, it was silly.

 

 

_Not have to sleep alone tonight_

 

 

To inflict more pain to a suffering soul was rude. It’s _okay_ to struggle.

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

“Blurryface, will you take me over?” They whisper softly, shutting their eyes to the world around them.

Tyler breathes, breathing in the scent of blood, the scent of pretty lotion from Victoria’s Secret.

They look down inside the bag, forgotten momentarily.

There was blood on the pink glossy bag, from the razor they didn’t even realize they had dropped.

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

Tyler slowly lowers to their feet. _Her. He._ Whatever, really. Tyler feels a little more girl-like, a little more feminine inside rather than out at the moment.

She reaches into the bag, untangling floral bras and cute panties.

She bought them because she feels like she needs a bit of selection in her wardrobe, something _“feminine”,_ some things _“masculine”,_ some things that could go _both_ ways, _any_ ways.

It didn’t matter. Whatever made Tyler as a human being, feel _right._

 

 

_**“I will eradicate all of your everythings,”** _

 

 

Blurryface snarls, urging Tyler to pick up yet another razor. It didn’t matter, did it?

 

 

**_“And send you quiet-like rowing gently down the stream-”_ **

 

 

“G-Go away,” Tyler interrupts, the shadows around her body glitches, pixelated, diluting into the air like smoke. Only slightly, however.

“Go the fuck away.” Tyler repeats, soft.

 

 

_Terror, terror on the rise_

 

 

Tyler swiftly moves, using his hand to sweep the razors off the bathroom counter and into her hand. _His?_

Whatever, it didn’t matter at this point.

It was he, now.

It _did_ matter to feel comfortable.

 

 

_A century of compromise_

 

 

He grabs the razors roughly, yelping in pain and grimacing as he drops the razors into the toilet behind him.

The bag would be safe.

He would be safe.

Everything is safe. Tyler tries to flush the toilet.

 

 

_Dagger, dagger at my throat_

 

 

The razors don’t flush, and he watches as shadows engulf his figure before his very eyes.

 

 

_The harshest word I ever spoke_

 

 

“J-Josh?” Tyler weakly calls out, shaking as he wipes the blood from his chest and arms with a towel hanging beside him.

 

 

_I wish I may_

 

 

Josh comes after the second broken call of his name, eyes widening at the cuts and blood.

 

 

_I wish I might_

 

 

“Baby boy…? What… what _happened?”_ His voice is level, gentle, and careful.

 

 

_Not have to sleep alone tonight_

 

 

It still feels like a million knives sticking inside his flat chest at the boy name. _Does it matter?_

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

 _Yes_. It _does._

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

“Don’t call me that. I’m not a boy.” Tyler bites down on Tyler’s tongue harshly.

 

 

_First star I see tonight_

 

 

Josh is caught slightly off guard, yet he does not care. _Anything_ Tyler is, it’s his, and he’ll love it.

Josh carefully coos to Tyler, hushing the young being and carefully gathering the fragile being in his arms.

 

 

_I wish I may I wish I might_

 

 

Tyler sighs softly, the shadows escaping lungs and flowing freely on the canvas that was vision. It fills Tyler’s vision.

 

 

_Collapse_

 

 

“Tyler, what are you?”

 

 

_Corrode_

 

 

“I.. I don’t know, get me away f-from _him,_ I _hate_ this, I _hate myself-”_

 

 

_Cave in_

 

 

Arms carry Tyler into the living room, carefully setting the taller human into his lap as he falls to his bottom on the cushions.

 _“No. Stop_ that. _Stop it._ Right _now_. _Don’t_ hate yourself. I just… It doesn’t matter what gender you are, baby, and I know I don’t know too much about it but I’m willing to learn. I just wanna know what you wanna be called, I mean…”

 

 

_Hold tight_

 

 

Tyler is silent.

 

 

 _“I need you here,”_ Josh whispers softly.

 

 

 _ **“I NEED YOU HERE.”** _ Blurryface screams.

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

Tyler presses hands over ears, tears falling from eyes, sobs racking the young human’s body.

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

Josh’s hands smooth over Tyler’s face, eyes, lips, and nose, a soothing touch from the loved one.

 

 

 _“I'm terrified of what's inside.”_ Tyler gasps.

 

 

Josh holds tight. “I’ll be here to deal with what’s inside you, Tyler.”

 

 

_Will you take me for a ride_

 

 

“Genderfluid. I think that’s… what it’s called…”

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

“What pronouns?” Josh strokes Tyler’s fluffy hair, waiting for the response.

 

 

_Will you take me over?_

 

 

“I don’t know, Josh, I mean… I feel different so quickly, I just… I’ll… I feel like _nothing,_ right _now…”_

“They?” Josh offers.

“....Y-Yeah.”

 

 

_I'm terrified of what's inside_

 

 

Tyler cries softly, but Josh quickly wipes the tears, quickly cleans the cuts, quickly rocks the young, yet, perfect in his eyes, person before him.

After a long, comfortable silence, Josh pipes up. “Do you want to go to Forever 21 and get that floral coat-thing that’s kinda flowy? I’ve seen you eye it. I mean, it’s pretty damn gender neutral, if I do say so _myself.”_

Tyler sniffles. “Y-Yeah, that… that sounds nice.”

 

 

_Will you take me for a ride?_

 

 

Josh claps. “You’ll be a perfect baby boy, baby girl, or baby galaxy in it!”

 

“Galaxy?” Tyler's brows furrow in confusion.

 

“Yeah, Tyler. Galaxies are genderless, or could be any gender, and they’re _beautiful_. And sometimes, you’re genderless or anything you feel like being. No matter what, though, you’re still beautiful. No matter what gender you are. You’re still my little galaxy.”

******  
**

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this from the perspective that I once identified as genderfluid; it was a secret for one thing, and I felt all over the place. It was when I first found out that gender and sexuality was a massive fucking spectrum, with all identities being valid for any reason, it's always valid. I went from wanting he/his, to she/her, to they/their, and it seriously shifted just like how I wrote it in this fic. 
> 
> If anyone is going to say anything: Yes, I know Tyler is cis. No, I do not care if you believe I am "fetishizing" anything- because I'm seriously fucking not trying to, and I am not doing so.
> 
> Also, for anyone reading this fic and reading these notes- if you are questioning, it is okay. If you have no clue what gender you are, it is okay. Don't be afraid. Try on different genders, it's okay, you need to find what's right for you specifically. No matter how many times you change your gender or sexual identity, or how many times you change your pronouns, that doesn't mean you aren't valid. Changing your identity quickly does not make you invalid. Just find what you are, try, it takes a long time, and I promise it will be okay. It took me a long time to figure out I am transgender. 
> 
> I am here for all of you that are struggling or have figured yourself out. I am proud of all of you. I support all of you, and no matter what anyone says, you are valid. You are always valid, and I will try to help if you need help. I am here for everyone.


End file.
